ups and downs of san francisco

Holly Park and Happy Wedding Bliss

2008-10-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

Well, it's many months later, october 1st to be exact. We are out here for Jay and Lindsey's wedding. We are still on a high from a wonderful, magical time, but that is another story. The rehearsal dinner was sept. 25th, the wedding sept. 26th, and a typical Jason party on the 27th. Dan and I took the couple to the airport on the 29th, and today is the 30th, which i mention because it's Dan's birthday. So, we celebrated by finding a stairway walk!
i didn't have my trusted book with me, so i had to google a walk, and i chose Bernal Heights. It wasn't the area i thought it was, but that's all the more fun. It is near the Mission, a working class neighborhood that is clean, sunny, old and beautiful. We found Holly Park, where the walk goes in a large circle, and from every part of the walk you can see the whole city and beyond! It was wonderful. We then found some stairways, and even a slide! (which of course, i had to go down, though i got stuck near the bottom) The names of these streets are unique---Esmeralda and Lundys, just to name a few.
i walked up a few more stairways, Dan's foot is hurting him, but i was so happy to be back to the finding of the stairways. Again, it's the things like the neighborhoods, the names of the streets, the views, and all that goes along with the search.
Holly Park is a little gem, by the way.

Home again

2008-03-16T14:51:00.000-07:00

i didn't have time to add any more until today. i got home late last night. It's good to be back with Dan and Gus and Willy, and my own bed. But as i was flying into Detroit, i looked out the window and gasped at the grey skies and melting rain. i forgot how grey it is! So yes, i do miss California, and Dan agrees that we will go back and spend substantial time out there.

i am including a few more shots of Isaac that i took.

i flew back to San Francisco on friday, and Lindsey, Jay and i made dinner for Xia and Sam, Jess and Chris, Lars and Kate, James and Stina, and then J.J. came later. it was really nice, both the cooking and the company. Jay made his wonderful lamb lollipops, they are wonderful! i made spaghetti and caesar salad, with Lindsey's help. Lindsey made roasted veggies for Kate. We bought a pie for dessert, because it was 3-14 and Jay pointed out that means it was "pi day'!

Jay and Lindsey are very happy, and loving. i am so sad to leave them, i have loved the nearness, though i was also on my own and they felt so good about it all. i also loved the nearness to Matt and Rachel and Isaac, a short plane ride away. i felt like crying as i said goodbye to them. i wish ALL the kids lived nearby, it's so fulfilling. But fulfillment has to come in many forms, and we have to seek it out sometimes. My adventure certainly fulfilled my goals. it opened up possibilities and growth for me. It's good to realize the choices we have in life, no matter what they are, and to fulfill what we can and accept what we can't.

The stairways taught me that life is a journey, it's the finding them in their surroundings and being observant of that. They taught me to seek out and climb to my goals, and...........that there are always more ahead!

Baby Food Bliss, or Yes, I am Capable of Babysitting!

2008-03-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

This will be quick! and there may be no more posts til i return home on sunday.
I flew to Salt Lake City, where Matt picked me up, and they had a delicious dinner awaiting me. It was so good to see all 3 of them, they were all eager to see me. I am so impressed with Rachel and Matt's parenting of Isaac, he is such a happy, relaxed guy, and they are so good with him! They also work so well together. It is hard for them, as for most young parents now, they have so many demands on them, yet they managed together so well.
So today, i am the babysitter! Ashley, the nanny came over for about an hour this morning, showed me how to get him to nap, and what else to do. I was doing most of it naturally, which is a relief, ya never know that you really will remember!
We went for a walk, i fed him, played with him, changed him, and yes, got him to nap, which is the hardest part. He smiles at me, a shy smile, then he'll lower his head and look up through his beautiful long eyelashes. What a flirt!
He is napping and i am trying to catch up. i may get better pictures later, but will try and upload some now. Can't do it , will put in pictures later. drat! o.k., it is later. I had to wake Isaac up, he slept really well, and i think, rather i KNOW, needed it. So ever since i woke him, he has been a total doll! Laughing, smiling, playing, imitating me, i love him! he has this toy called an "Exersaucer", Cindy and Jane, get one. they sit in it and it moves around, with different things to occupy them. he will jump up and down and chortle in it. He then imitated me smaking my lips, it made him laugh.
Well, i gotta go and play.

This is What I'm Missing

2008-03-11T16:41:00.000-07:00

As soon as i can add the picture i want, you will see what i mean.

This is a slow day, i am packing to get ready to leave. i met my neighbor, Roberta, and we went to Sonoma together so i could get some wine for Matt and Rachel. we had a really nice time! i really like her, and we had a good time talking. We have similar personalities, of course, we ARE both therapists, so we have alot in common. i bought them some nice wines in Sonoma, then because we wanted some, we took the cheaper route and went to a store called "Bev Mo", which is a chain here. I didn't know that, decided i discovered it too late! It's the Binney's Beverage of Marin----aisles and aisles of wine, many of them good deals, as well as all kinds of liquor. Dan, you woulda loved it!

The wines i got for Matt and Rachel aren't distributed everyplace, so i think they are probably special.

anyway, Roberta sent me a picture her brother sent her of Mackinaw Island. It is amazing, i wish i could see it! Snow can be beautiful. In case you are wondering, these are "ice waves", that don't generally occur in Michigan. i have never seen one.

The rest of the day is going to be spent packing, though i'll run to jazzericize for the last time here.

Packing is not fun, there is alot to figure out!

We Don't See This in Michigan

2008-03-10T18:49:00.000-07:00

So it is almost time to leave. I am getting in my task oriented mode of getting packed and organized, getting the house cleaned, etc. But still............a few more thoughts and quests.
At jazzercize today, our instructor was being monitored, something they do in Michigan too, it's a routine thing. But i was looking at who i thought the monitor was, and the gal next to me, Mary, who is really nice and funny and cynical, said, "oh yes, it's the girl in the orange shirt who had her boobs done." Well, they WERE big, but i realized this isn't something i'd normally be able to recognize, as not many people in Ann Arbor get boob jobs! So i started thinking about other things that are indigenous to Ca., or at least that I have found, that i don't find at home.
1. everyone's an actor
2. boob jobs
3. there is a California accent, they elongate their "o's". Ooptions, instead of options.
4. all the food is sustainable
5. all the food is organic and people ask all the time, even at a burger place.
6.people use their bicycles alot!
7.people do outdoor stuff alot!
8.the standard for fashion is warm up clothes.

so, i think i belong here! Although i don't elongate my o's.

i went to coffee with a gal i met at jazzercize, Marcia. She hugged me when we left, was sad i was leaving! i was too, i really liked her.
Later, i began to pack--yuck. Then, did some work for the bmt symposium, got bored, and drove to Napa to go shopping. i went back to the outlets and almost bought an oufit for Sally's daughter's wedding, but it just wasn't me, it was actually more Sally, so i came back home. As i was driving back, i talked to Matt, who wants me to bring some wine to them. So i now will go back to Sonoma tomorrow to get them some wine, and not have carry-on luggage. Another quest. Good enough!

It Happened on Mt. Tam

2008-03-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

This is an extra blog for tonight. It speaks for itself, as a wonderful way to end the trip. I am so happy! Yes, Jay and LIndsey are engaged! They are so happy!

Cinema Club in the Morning and a Date with my Son in the Afternoon

2008-03-09T17:05:00.000-07:00

Lindsey's mom invited me to go to their "Cinema Club", along with Jay and Lindsey. This is a club in San Francisco, and in some other cities, where you subscribe to a series, and you go to a theater to see a movie that hasn't been released yet. There are actually guards in the hallway checking you out to be sure you aren't going to "pirate" the movies. Paula said they sometimes go up and down the aisles in night vision glasses to be sure.

Anyway, it was 10:00, but really, 9:00 as the time changed last night. This movie was "Under the Same Moon". It was a low budget Mexican movie, and very good. It was a tearjerker, and a little too much by the end, but the acting was excellent. The first scene was so very touching, we all teared up. It was very enjoyable, and if anyone in MY movie group is reading this, i would suggest it.

We then went out for lunch at The Slanted Door, and met Ken, Lindsey's dad. It's a top notch Vietnamese Restaurant in the Ferry Building, and we had a delicious lunch, though my stomach wasn't hungry yet. They ended up treating me to lunch, it was so nice of them.

Then, jay and i went out alone. He was tired, and needed to get stuff done at home, so i really appreciated it. We went food shopping for the spaghetti night this coming friday. i then dragged him up to Twin Peaks, where we found a small stairway walk with a magnificant view. I didn't like this stairway, it was totally full of tourists. The ones i'm finding in the neighborhoods are so much more fun, but we were both headed home and i just wanted to get one more in. The views from here are heavenly, however, as you can see the whole city of San Francisco and beyond. i didn't even include the shot of the stairway, as it was nothing special, but the views are.

i then dropped him off, and hung out with them for a while, then came home. i stopped at Book Passages on the way home, a wonderful book store, what Borders used to be like before it became corporate. I bought i new Henning Mankell book, one i hadn't seen before, and therefore looked at some travel guides of Sweden, as i am looking forward to that. (Hi Per!)

i then came home, took a little walk, as it's 70 degrees outside, if you can believe that! Oh woe is me, returning to ice and snow and cold! i don't mind snow, i even miss it, a little bit, just a little. But i don't miss the ice and the cold.

i am getting sadder to leave, but a little anxious to get back. i am missing Dan, which has happened on sundays. Plus, our dear doggy, Gus, is hurt!

He sprained his knee while running around out in the back of our house, probably slipping on ice. I want to go home and help him and take care of him!

i was just looking over all the pictures i've taken, and only a representative sample are on this blog. i am remembering some of the adventures. What an experience this has been. i think some of the most fun times have been when Dan has been out here with me, and we found things together. Clearly, we "adventure" well together, and i look foward to our retirement together. It's also been wonderful to be on my own, to know that i could do it, and do it well. i know my way around the whole area, San Francisco and Berkeley, i wasn't really homesick, i slept like a log, no night fears, and i made friends and did stuff on my own. I feel good and i feel confident about that. i didn't obsess about the things and worries that i normally do, i felt free of that. i think it's wonderful to have a time to explore yourself, to have the freedom and time to do what you want to do on your own. It can be a challenge, but challenge is important and good. Ruth gave me the book called Tales of a Female Nomad. I haven't read it because i had another book to read, and i have barely read. But i will read it, probably now when i return. i know it will help me verbalize the wisdom i have found.

A Bit of Ann Arbor in Berkeley, and a Possibility for Next Year

2008-03-08T19:52:00.000-08:00

Well, this was a really busy day, didn't expect it to be. I actually got brave and got a hair cut here, which i needed so desperately, i didn't care how it turned out! Well, it turned out fine, though the hairdresser was slow and late, and i was rushed. I was rushed because my friend, Judy K, was in Berkeley, visiting her son and daughter in law and new baby, Elias, and i had a lunch date with them. So i zoomed home. But oh yes, i forgot to put in here that on my morning walk, i saw someone i knew, who told me about a possible short term rental for next year. It's a couple who are away in the winter, so i thought i'd just leave a note. But the neighbor saw me, a delightful man named Phil, who called the people for me, showed me his identical unit, and took all my information.
so after my hair cut, i really, really had to shower, you know how your hair looks after they "do" it. i did that, raced to Berkeley because Judy didn't have much time. But oh, it was so great to see them all! David is a long term friend of my son, Matt's, probably his best friend, and such a delight. So is his wife, Mya, and their baby boy, Elias. We went out to lunch, and as we're eating, Phil called to tell me that the couple with the condo were interested, so we made a date for him to show me their condo later.
I then left the K's, to go off to see their cousin, and i did a few stairways in the hills of Berkeley. Berkeley is so unique and beautiful. Up in the hills are narrow, steep hills and streets. i was afraid to drive on them, though i did. It is so beautiful. The houses are unique and wonderful--some are dark wood, some are modern, all have character different from any other area of Northern California. I found a stairway designed by Mayback, the architect i have read about in other stairway walks. Some of the stairways had a history, talking about the Berkeley fire of 1923, of which i had never heard. The stairways arent' long, i did about 3 of them before heading back, but they all have character in this wonderful area.
i came back and toured the condo, i will call the owners tomorrow. And, they are psychologists, fellow therapists!
Oh, Phil mentioned that he has "acted" on the stage, played Thoma More in "A Man for All Seasons" on stage. So i mention this because so many of the people i've met have acted in one form or another. A guy who owns a bookstore in Mill Valley, Lindsey's Aunt Rae, this guy today, they all have acted! I guess i really am in California!

2008-03-07T17:00:00.001-08:00

Back to that feeling of freedom and confidence and adventure! i went to jazzercize, where i really do feel comfortable now, though it isn't MY group, or LINDA, but it was fun. I should mention here, if Jane reads this, or anyone from my class, that i totally love a new song, "She Knows", by Justin Timerlake. Jane, listen to it, it's great! And LInda, i know you won't read this, but it's also a great routine!
Anyway, afterwards i drove into San Francisco to bring Trudi her suitcase. She is staying with her cousin, who is a photographer. He used to be the photographer for Smith and Hawkins catalog. He has a great apartment, in one of my favorite areas of San francisco, Pacific Heights. He lives near Fillmore and Washington, in a really cool apartment. He is an artist of course, and has an amazing apartment, the way it's decorated and accessorized. He is such an artist, i wish i'd had my camera in there, but it's hard to capture all the little collections and the big collections he has. One thing he collects, so i shouldn't forget, are Spode "profiles." vases with profiles on the lip, i never would have noticed.
We went to lunch, and of course, he brought his beloved dog, Rufus. I felt very San Francisco, sitting in Pacific Heights with the dog on the leash, eating outside at a nice restaurant. He regaled us with many stories, he is very outgoing, and charming. He made a movie with Twiggy, actually directed it. It was made in Sweden, PER, take note of that! It was made for Vogue magazine, to show off fashions. But he knew her well, and also, Ken Russell ("Women in Love") and when he lived in Bolinas, Jerry Garcia and Jefferson Airplane. He said that Paul McCarthney wrote "Back in the USSR" for him and Twiggy because they were supposed to do that shoot in Russia, but did it in Sweden instead.
Whatever, he was very, very nice, and bought my lunch. Trudi was very nice too, she insisted on paying for the parking ticket i got when i was maybe 3 minutes late!
After that, i did a staircase walk. It was very near, which was necessary, as i was on a parking meter, and obviously, they check! i went to Alta Plaza, near Steiner and Washington, in Pacific Heights. The stairway i did was mostly in a park, and i couldnt' do the whole walk because of time. But the views from this park were amazing. There were stairways up on all four sides, and you could see the entire area from each of the 4 areas. A beautiful area, boy, i wish i were rich and could live around here!
I then shopped a little in the area on Fillmore Street, which is one of my very favorite streets in San Francisco. But, very, very costly, so just window shopping. Although it's ritzy, it's interesting and nice to know there are few chains, and in fact, Steve, the cousin, told me, the neighborhood doesn't want any more chains to come in. I noticed that about many areas of San Francisco, maybe that's one of the things that makes it so unique nowadays. Trudi and i noticed it in Sonoma and Napa as well, and it's a good thing.
i then tried to find parking, street parking, in Union square because i'm now obsessed with Rance perfume that i had tried in St. Helena, but i gave up, and drove back. The good news about that is that i didn't need a map, i didn't need my GPS, i knew how to get back. Yeah for me!
i stopped at Corte Madera on the way to go to a Safeway and a great Italian market, Ferrari, to get some wonderful breadsticks. Most of this was while talking to Matt on the phone, and listening to baby Isaac, who i shall babysit for next week!

Beginnings of Leaving Where the Deer Roam

2008-03-07T07:12:00.000-08:00

a busy day, but some of it routine. Walked in the morning, then did routine stuff, and then took Trudi to the ferry so she could stay with her cousin in San Francisco. I will bring her big suitcase in on friday.
I then did the leukemia phone support group, lazed around. later, went to Kathleen's for a real good talk. It was really meaningful for both of us, and brought us closer. i didn't take a picture, so i am including one of us taken in Italy. I won't see her again on this trip probably.
Oh, i bumped into the deer that roam around here, so i got a shot of them too.
Well, i am having computer trouble, so i don't know when this will be updated.

Bake Sale Betty, Berkeley Bowl, and a Beautiful Day with a Break with Jay and a Break with Lindsey

2008-03-05T20:46:00.000-08:00

Trudi and I went to Berkeley today. No stairway walks, but alot of food and company.
Met Jay for lunch, and we went to "Bake Sale Bettys" where the menu is simple---fried chicken sandwiches and homemade baked goods! Betty wears a purple wig, though we didn't see her today, and used to work at Chez Panisses, now has her own little restaurant in Oakland. It is a very little place, and the line forms around the corner for her great food. If you eat outside and can find a "table", you eat at brightly colored ironing boards! It was wonderful food! Fried chicken is one of my favorite foods, and hers did not disappoint. And, i splurged on a chocolate cupcake that was the best!
We then dropped Jay off at his office, and met his boss and his cohorts. it was really fun, his office is pretty fascinating. All kinds of toys and stuff around, and strange video computer stuff. he showed us the "3D copier" , a device that copies the figures from the game he is working on. They have layers of material on them , becoming solid entities. Very different.
We then went to this store that Trudi had heard of, called "Lacis", a fascinating fabric store. "It's hard to define it that way, so whoever is reading this, should look it up on-line. Has alot of vintage things, but really interesting sewing and quilting and fabric books. They had a book called "Crafts of the 50's", which i know Jay and Linsdey would love.
Then, we went to the Berkeley Bowl, the most unique grocery store i've ever been to. i had been to it before, so i knew what it had, but i wanted Trudi to see it, plus i needed some produce. O.k., so produce is an understatement--they have an entire room of produce, aisles and aisles. here is a sampling:
many tomatoes, including Rosso Bruno
5 kinds of coconuts
6 types of eggplant
10 kinds of apples
32 kinds of mushrooms
edible flowers and edible orchids
nagaimo
nopales
and this is just a small sampling. And NO, i don't know what all those things are!

Oh, and i got some Meyer Lemons, which is becoming my quest. i had a meyer lemon cheesecake last night, it is so light and tasty that i really like the flavor. i hear they are in season now, so i am buying some. Trying to figure out how to get some home, or to see if i can get them at home.

After this, we met Lindsey at Ikea, where she works as a designer. She was chosen to design the entryway, so we wanted to see it. It is really creative! We went out with her for coffee, and had a great visit.

We then came home, ate here, played with Ella, and bore, yawn, yeah, watched "American Idol"!

Over Hills and Over Dales to Grandparents Wine Country We Did Go

2008-03-04T21:44:00.000-08:00

Trudi and i took a morning walk, then began our journey to Sonoma and Napa County. First stop was Oakmont, the "Adult" community, to see another potential rental. Only it isn't a possibility, because the self described "clean freaks", a really nice, really friendly couple, don't want a dog, and we do plan to have Gus with us next year. But who knows, and it was good to go back out there, plus Trudi might be interested.

i decided i feel like i'm in an alternative universe there. No one is young. We didn't even see many people out at all at first, which was a little eerie. But hey, it was 12:30 p.m., they were probably napping! The strange thing is, everyone i have talked to there absolutely LOVES it, they wouldn't leave for anything, except in the winter. But, we saw no diversity with age, ethnicity, or anything else. As i was talking to Dan about it on the phone, we did notice a somewhat large group playing lawn bowling, that was exciting, although they all did have white hair.

We then drove to Healdburg for lunch. What a charming town! we had a nice lunch, and spent time looking in the cute shops. We then drove on road 128 to get over to Napa, and headed for St. Helena. This is another really cute town, with a sort of French accent to it.

Lastly, we headed to Cafe Le Haye in Sonoma to meet Kathleen and her friend, Linda for dinner. We had alot of fun, we all really hit it off. The 3 of them really like to travel in similar ways, esp. Linda and Trudi, so they exchanged emails and it all went really well. Dinner was good, and i liked the place, although Kathleen asked me to rate it, as well as the other places we've been to together, and i gave it a 7 1/2.

So on the way over to Sonoma, i did take one stairway shot---a stairway i walked nearby a few years ago, for Matt and Rachel's wedding. The staircase is Viansa, the winery they got married at!

A work day, and a friend to visit

2008-03-03T19:57:00.000-08:00

i did not have any adventures today! i had to do some computer work for the Bone Marrow Transplant Symposium; i am coordinating all the Speakers, so I had to email many of them with various instructions. It took quite a while, but felt good to accomplish it, though i find being on the computer that much very tiring.
i did go to jazzercize, feels good to be reved up. Then, waited to Trudi to come in. She took a transporter from the airport out to Novato, and i picked her up around 3:30. She was exhausted, so she napped, while i read. We went to dinner at Boca, for salad and empanadas. Came home and relaxed.
nice to have a day like this.

sunday is for dim sum

2008-03-02T19:11:00.000-08:00

We met Jay and Lindsey for Dim Sum today, they took us out for lunch, before Dan had to leave. We were up early, however, so we left Novato early and went to Golden Gate Park. Ended up at the Botanical Gardens, which were so peaceful and beautiful! i actually found a little stairway there, down to a quiet little pond with rocks and fronds. The weather was glorious.
Our Dim Sum was delicious, and we ate alot!
I then had to drive Dan to the airport, and it was sad to say goodbye. I'll see him soon, except i don't want to leave, i want him to come here!
Anyway, afterwards, i picked up Jay and Lindsey and we car-pooled down to Noe Valley, to a pottery place where you paint your own. Lindsey was making a birthday gift for her father, she did a beautiful job. i don't have a picture of it because it's not finished. Jay and i made some things too, mine is not so good, his is good!

i have to add three pictures----Jay and Lindsey's kitties, Ivan (the black one) and Jack.

AND, the stairway that started it all! This is near Jay and Lindsey's house, and after we took it back at Thanksgiving, Jay mentioned the book about stairways, and when i got my inspiration.

Sausalito stairways and a new adventure!

2008-03-02T19:00:00.000-08:00

3-1-08

Dan and i went exploring together, so glad to share it with him. We went to Sausalito, found soem stairways there. We were up in the hills, it is so beautiful, so reminiscent of Italy, only these homes were fabulously expensive. Went to the town center, and walked around there, enjoying the shops and the day and each other. I bought Dan a really cool hat, which he loves!

We then drove around Tiburon, not so beautiful, and came back, and rested, and got ready for Jay and Lindsey to come for dinner.

So, listen up Per, this part's for you:::: We found a new adventure, it's called "geocaching." For those who don't know what it is, you use your GPS, you get on a "geocaching" website, and you find hidden treasures that others have placed there for you to find. You use your GPS's coordinates, longitude and latitude, to find the treasure. So Jay, Lindsey and i had our own adventure, finding the treasure near the condo. This is not only nationwide, it's worldwide, so wherever you are, you might find a treasure near you! Dan wasn't into it, so he stayed home but the 3 of us had so much fun. And we found it! Lindsey found it first, which was my prediction, as she is very observant. Jay would have found it before me, that is for sure, and he was operating the GPS, directing us.

So i do still love stairways, but this was really fun also.

We had a great dinner, the meat was, of course, organic, and sustainable, as were the veggies, etc. Great bread, and Jay and Lindsey made a very, very tasty chocolate mousse for dessert, served in her grandmother's pudding cups!

A very nice day.

A Stairway to Father Guido Sarducci's Heaven plus 325 steps

2008-02-29T15:13:00.000-08:00

Dan is here today, so great to see him. i took him on my favorite road, the Lucas Valley Rd., as in George Lucas, through the little town of Nicosia, through the wonderful Redwood forest, to the very hippy town of Bolinas. Many, many dogs, many bearded, long haired men, many somewhat unwashed men and women. Well, i shouldn't say "many", it's a very little town. It has a beach, and a stairway to nowhere, but since Father Guido Sarducci allegedly resides there, i made that the title. (I do mean the actor who played him on Saturday Night Live, for those who may not get the reference)
We then drove to Mill Valley, where we were starving, but found a pathway on Cascade Drive, a road so narrow that only one car can pass at a time. We walked up this beautiful path, up into a Redwood forest, with a stream running through it. it was so beautiful, peaceful, and quiet.
Then went into town for a fabulous, greasy hamburger and sweet potato fries. Walked it off at the beginning of the "Dipsea" steps, which are 3 staircases. i counted the number, on the way down, and there were 324 steps.

After a rest, Dan especially napped, we went into San Francisco to meet Jay and Lindsey at Albono's, an "Istrian" restaurant. The host, Bruno, is from the Istrian penisula, and the food reflects this area. The area is near Trieste, and has Italian influences as well as Croatian and Yugoslavian. We had been there for a previous trip, and really enjoyed it. It is so good to see them often, i know i will really miss the contact when i go home.

Another City to Explore, More People to Meet feb.28th

2008-02-29T14:52:00.000-08:00

In the morning, did my usual, jazzercize and walking to get the paper. Got the house ready for Dan's visit, tonight.

In the afternoon, i drove into Berekeley, to shop, to walk, and to meet Kathleen's son-in-law and his family, before picking up Dan at the airport later at night.

i drove around Berekeley, and had googled stairways in that city, and of course, found many. I found another map too, with all of them listed, as well as a reference to the book i'm using in San Francisco. i drove and drove, and found "The Arden Steps." It was gorgeous! Up in the hills above the whole city, narrow streets and lanes, dark wooded homes, foliage so thick i couldn't get a picture of the view from above. I loved this, it was so charming, it actually reminded me of our little village that we stayed at in Italy, with the narrow, one lane roads and winding S curves.

This stairway was incredibly steep, i couldn't really capture that with a camera. i got a little dizzy on my way down, clutching onto the handrail. Very steep, narrow, and quiet.

i then drove to 4th Street to the great shopping they have there, then looked, but couldn't find, these outlets nearby. i ended up at Kyle's house, Frank's son. He had invited me to dinner to meet him, his wife Emily, her son Alvin, and their new baby son, Riley. We had a lovely dinner and a lovely time. Emily is Chinese, from Canton, though she's been here for 14 years. They were delightful--Kyle is a wonderful conversationist, very bright, likes to write stories. It was great to see Kathleen again too. Kathleen has a picture with her and i and the family, i will put that in when she sends it. By the way, it may seem this way, but really, i do not always wear black!

i then went to get Dan at the airport, and was very early because there was no traffic. (this is a remarkable statement!)

i really enjoyed this today; i've been to Berkeley before, on separate occasions, and was never able to put it all together before. Doing these walks forces me to see the big picture as well as the details within.

adult livng and hummingbirds

2008-02-27T19:55:00.000-08:00

i am having routine days, a good thing, actually, but not much significant to write. i went to jazzercize, then got ready to go to Santa Rosa, to an "Adult" community, to look at short term rentals. O.k, all you dirty minds, what the "adult" means, is 50 or older! this community is in Santa Rosa, named Oakmont, and has tons of activities-golf courses, swimming pools, recreation centers, movies, etc. (i think i want to barf as i describe it)

Anyway, the good thing is, they have a number of short term rentals, so i went to look at quite a few today. well, as Jack Benny says, what can i say. There was one that really was nice, it was on a hill in the hillier part of the development, and there were actually deer sitting on the hillside. It was a really nice house, they had redone it and it was very open. But..........not necessarily available next winter, as they prefer to not have a dog. The other places were more than adequate. i think i am so surprised that Dan would consider a community like this. Clearly, the advantages would be the nearness of so many activities---golf, movies, dinner, potential friends, etc. but geez, it was really ticky tacky. Plus, it's way up in Santa Rosa, and i have experienced road delays and traffic everytime i go to Sonoma county. i really like Novato, and my condo complex, but am not sure we have any opportunities here. We'll see, i think i am processing this as i write and apparently, my feelings are emerging. i must say when i got back, and took a walk around the condo complex, i was stilled by a hummingbird in a nearby tree.

Later, came home and ate and talked to Matt, made plans to come out to Salt Lake City to babysit Isaac! Yeah, and yeah!

so, wishing Dan were with me as i say this---again, i experience this sense of euphoria.

don't know if it's the place, (northern Ca.) or the doing it, but i feel so good.

Like Maybury, on Acid

2008-02-26T13:19:00.000-08:00

so this morning i took a ride. i wanted to see the town of Fairfax, and also return to Ross, where i had been directed to a dressmaking shop the year that Matt got married. Her designs were the impetus for my infamous wedding dress experience.
i missed Ross on the way there, it is so small. I did find it on the way back, and it is cute, but small. And the dressmaker is no longer there!
But Fairfax was a great find! It is a total hippy town, complete with the nauseating smell of pachouille, my less favorite scent in the world! But what a cool town. They refer to themselves as "Maybury on acid", and i can believe it. i couldnt' get a picture that would do it justice, besides, i didn't want to bother anyone. (I didn't even want to be seen talking on my cell phone!) It had stores with names like "Rainbow Fabrics", "Spirit of the Goddess" and "Culture Shock." All kinds of tie-dyed apparel, peace insignia, etc. The store clerks were all friendly and really laid back.

Rest of day was routine, i exercised, tried to find a path to walk. went to jazzercize, and then did a take out menu from a really good local restaurant, Boca. i ordered empanadas and a wedge of lettuce with roq. dressing. It's an Argentinian restaurant. i came home to eat it, although i had a glass of wine while waiting. i wanted to see what it was like to be in a restaurant alone at night. it was fine, i actually enjoyed it.
came back here to eat though. i realized i am having my "Leap" experience during the "Leap Year"! ("Leap" is the name of a book by Sara Davidson about women in their 60's changing the course of their lives.)

Turkey Trot in Brugges

2008-02-25T20:51:00.000-08:00

Slow day. Nothing exciting. But............i feel so happy! i really do miss people, but there's an internal joy that has only to do within me.
Today. Went to jazzercize, had a phone conference for the bone marrow transplant symposium. Drove to Mill Valley to get their phamplet on their stairways. It's a very yuppy little town, very ritzy, the Marin county i had thought it all would be. anyway, got the map about the stairways and came home.
i took a walk around my condo, around the Pacheco Valle area. It is really nice, you can see from the pictures. the gaggle of turkeys are around all the time. If you "talk" to them , if you actually say, "goggle, goggle, goggle", they actually say it back. There must be 20 of them in their pack, and i finally sort of got a picture.
Later on, saw "In Brugges", a movie Dan recommended. It was really quite good, i enjoyed it. Colin Farrell can act as well as be hot!

o.k, i have to say something here. About my happiness. i hope this isn;t too personal, but this is really a journal for me . and about a conversation with Dan, in which he mentioned that he wasn't sure other people really understood why i wanted to do this, and i think he felt they were being judgemental . This joy i feel has nothing to do with being away from Dan. i feel our relationship is stronger than ever. i miss him passionately, and think of him all the time. i feel so secure and certain in our relationship that i have the freedom to find this happiness within myself. My friend Lorraine wrote me, after reading my journal, that i was truly meditating, even though it is not a conscience thing. i think i have needed to do this for myself for a very long time. Who knows why, but i feel that others have had the chance, and i haven't. i haven't resented it, but i envied it and wanted to do it too. it is a personal fulfillment. It's my "Leap", which is the title of a book written by Sara Davidson about finding ourselves after age 60.

i was a product of the 60's and 70's, who never explored, who just observed on the outside, never really experiencing it. i supported it for the most part, envied it, and judged it. But never really took part, though some part of me wanted to. i don't regret that, i made good choices in my life. But now, i have a sense of freedom, a sense of being able to expand myself with confidence , knowing also what i have with those i love and not wanting to jeopardize that in the least.

2008-02-24T14:07:00.001-08:00

Waited for the torrents of rain and wind to stop, or at least, abate, and then went to the Marin County Farmers Market. i didn't need anything, but i wanted to check it out. It's by the Convention Center, which is a really nice facility. there weren't alot of farmers there, but i liked the market, as of course, everything was fresh, organic and our familiar "sustainable."
i bought a rotisserie chicken from a catering place that was crowded, so i bought one for when Dan is here. i also bought some interesting breads for tonight, a walnut blue cheese, and some others.
i then cooked rumaki, and parmesean mustard chicken wings for Lindsey and Jay to watch the Academy Awards tonight. i bought some foil stars from a Dollar Store to decorate.
It's rainy and lonely, i do feel alone today.
i took a walk, and i felt so much better. Met some people on the way. They used to live in South Haven, knew all about Michigan, even Maple City! he is the homeowners Ass'n president, so he gave me some good info about who to get in touch with for a short term rental next year. They were very friendly and nice, although he described Governor Granholm as a "rotten, Commie, pinko"! I just laughed and joked with him, his wife did too.
I saw the wild turkeys on the walk, they are always around and so funny. One or two Toms, and the rest seem to be like the harem. i also saw deer on the walk; it's really quite nice around here, we are surrounded by paths and hills and protected land.
Came back home, and Jay and Lindsey came over. They loved my little decorations. i think we are the only 3 who appreciate these things, so i knew they'd like them. Watched the Oscars, all of us bored but still.........you have to watch! but one more comment.....it's really so nice to be on the west coast to watch the awards. It's the first time i can remember in years, when i could actually stay awake! And, i am sitting here now watching the post show! This is amazing to me.
and p.s., with apologies to Dan, but it was nice watching the show with people who were awake!

They Call the Wind Matilda

2008-02-23T20:55:00.000-08:00

The forecast for today has been alot of rain, and gusty winds. All the t.v. and radio people talk about is the wind, and how fierce this storm is.
I was invited to Lindsey's parents for dinner in Alameda, which meant i had to drive over the Richmond Bridge, where i think a truck overturned due to a high wind gust during a storm in january. When i went to buy Paula, LInsdey's mom, some flowers, the woman told me to stay home, or to have a really heavy car. (I'm driving a little Mazda 3) so i was very nervous, i admit.

Well, i went, and i made it and the wind wasn't that bad. it wasn't that bad at all. i had a really nice time with the Frimans and "Aunt Rae", whom i really liked. I liked them all, it was really fun. They are so hospitable and i felt like part of the family. Rae is a hoot. She regaled us with funny stories, is very vibrant, told us she had an interview at Paramount Studios after she graduated college 50 years ago, having gone to Pasadena Playhouse College or something like that. She got married instead, didn't regret it. She loves to use Yiddish words because her husband, who has passed away, worked for a Jewish tailor and learned many expressions. She is in her 70's, and looks and acts like she's in her 50's.

Lindsey's friend Jessica was there too, it was nice to meet her. Their house is really cool, very homey. The kitchen and downstairs have been redone, it is BEAUTIFUL, with so many cool ideas. Lindsey actually helped design it. Paula and Ken have lived all over the world, as he's been an engineer for oil rigs, and have many stories. Their home, which is her family's home, is filled with family memorbilia.

We had a very nice meal. i wish Dan were there too. They have a dog, Matilda, an Australian Cattle Dog, who hid under Ken and Paula most of the evening, and under my feet at dinner, probably thinking i was Lindsey. She didn't like Jay taking her picture. When we left, she finally got friendly enough to say hello.

The Non Itty Bitty Stairway Walk and the Non Itty Bitty Titty Party

2008-02-23T08:53:00.000-08:00

2-22-08

Had coffee with a neighbor this morning, Roberta, who coincidentially happens to be a fellow psychotherapist. She was delightful, and i enjoyed her. She said she was so glad i had stopped to say hello the day before, as they all wondered if i was friendly or not, and were waiting for me to approach them. Interesting, as i was waiting for them to approach me. So this is a lesson, that merely by saying hello, i potentially made a friend.

Went into San Francisco later in the day to do a walk and to go to a party at Jay's friend, Stina.

First, the walk. Oh moan and groan and pant!!!! This was a walk! It was in the Forest Hill section of town, a beautiful, upscale part of the city. It has the largest number of homes built by Bernard Maybeck, an apparently well known architect in the 20's. His homes are indeed beautiful and unusual. They have gingerbread roofs sometimes, and oddly placed balconies and turrets. Sort of art deco, but with warmth. The other homes in this neighborhood were so lovely. i almost want to start another quest here, looking for Maybeck homes!

As i was walking, a woman was behind me, and i sort of was trying to hide the book, as i felt embarressed and thought if she were a resident, she'd resent me walking this lovely neighborhood. She caught up to me, and said, "oh, is that the Stairsways book? My husband and i bought that and are doing it." Nice surprise for me!

so this walk! Well, it wasn't the initial steps that are called the Pacheco Stairway, it was the uphill walk to them, and the 6 stairways to walk up and down that were the groaners! i think there are so many stairways in this city because it's alot easier to walk up a stairway than to walk up a hill! Anyway, it was beautiful.

it's funny, doing these, the things i notice. i'm not an observant person of my physical environment so much, being an observer of internal things. But this makes me observe. i notice the houses, and the book helps me notice the details on some of the houses. i notice the differences in the stairways---one had wavy sides to it all the way down, inviting a feeling of care for even the stairway. The houses abut the stairways, almost in people's yards.

I then panted myself back into the car, and headed for Jay and Linsdey's. On the way, i found another stairway at the end of Funston st. near Taravel. No, i did not get out, i didn't even take a picture, but it was fun to find it on Jay's old street. Jay and Linsdey were preparing snacks for their friend Stina's party. She is about to have a breast reduction, so the party was a "bye, bye titty" party! Linsdey made the above cupcakes! Jay made his (actually, My recipe, actually RUTH's recipe) of the Mexican antipasta, also with a breast theme.

The party was so nice. i really like his friends. i saw Lars and Kate, Tom E and his girlfriend here from Seattle, Sara S, Allison and Dave, Hans and Heather. I didn't stay too long, i do get nervous about driving back in the dark. i was also exhausted from the walk and the morning's jazzercize. i love his friends, and as they mature, i find we relate more on a peer level.

got home to Ella, who was hyper because she'd been alone. Tough!

We Hand Churn Our Own Organic Butter Every Day

2008-02-21T21:09:00.000-08:00

Slow, lazy day. It rained, though it isn't unpleasant, and i went for a walk. You get pretty wet, but it's not cold, so it isn't bad. Yet! Stayed inside most of the day, working on the bmt symposium i am doing, doing the Leukemia telephone support group, catching up.
i then drove to Sebastopol to meet Kathleen for dinner at a charming french restaurant called "The French Garden." It was very good, and always fun with Kathleen, as we sit and process until my ADD catches up with me and i can't sit any longer! Drove home to Ella. i'm getting better at night, rainy driving, thankfully.
i need to mention the restaurants. Well, the food is always very good, very good. But they are VERY into being "sustainable" (do you really know what that means?) and their wines, going into very long descriptions about the taste and the smells and the flavors, etc. But also everything! i had read about the butter at this place, of all things, and i do love butter, but i thought it was a little over the top when our waitperson announced "we hand churn our own organic butter." Kathleen and i just looked at each other, and said, "it's So Northern California!"

a steal at the outlets, and a great meal in Mustard country

2008-02-21T09:47:00.000-08:00

this is for feb. 20th.

Did my regular jazzercize in the morning. The group is feeling much more comfortable, i don't feel like the new kid anymore.

Came home and relaxed, then went out to Napa to meet my neighbor's sister and her husband, Gloria and Mike, who now live in Fairfield. The drive out was beautiful, i tried to take a picture at a red light, so it may not great, but i will include one of Mike's, who had taken a few. It's the mustard season in Napa, so you see yellow field after yellow field of mustard plants, with the rolling hills in the background. (oh! Rufus Wainwright is singing "Over the Rainbow" on my Ipod as i write this!)

i stopped at the outlets in Napa, and cleaned up. Listen up, Sally, if you're reading this--get to the Dana Buchman store in Michigan City, 80% off !

then, met Gloria and Mike at Ad Hoc, a Thomas Keller restaurant in Yountville. It's a new concept, all sustainable food, one prix fixe ($46) and you get whatever they are serving that night, served family style. We had: course one---garlic soup

course two--hanger steak, grilled swiss chard, potato

pancakes

course three---dry, aged cheddar cheese with huckleberry

jam and a raisin scone

course four--warm chocolate brownie.

i came home late, again grateful for the GPS, as it was very dark. Glad to see Ella, whom i am getting very found of.

During the day, i had emailed some realtors, and got names of people wanting to sub-let at Oakmont, the adult community we saw in Santa Rosa. i called a few, and have a date to see one of the homes for next year.

i really love it out here. i've been reading some articles in Oprah, Martha Beck's, and some other articles, about getting what you want, and feeling like you've found yourself in what you do. i am feeling that strongly. i miss Dan very much, miss my wonderful friends, but i feel happy, i feel like this was what i've needed to do for a long time.

Extremely Slippery Conditions Ahead, or "Have a Nice Day".

2008-02-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

It is rainy today, but still, in the 50's. i have to say right here that it feels really good to be out of the cold weather, even in the rain.
Walked to get the papers, lounged around, decided to drive to Pt. Reyes, to see if i could see any birthing seals. I wanted to go to Bolinas, but it was further, as Pt. Reyes is only 25 away.
Drove there on a beautiful road, Lucas Valley Rd., which is very near. Marin County is so interesting because you can be in the middle of suburban sprawl, then drive 10 minutes away and you're out in the beautiful countryside. Really interesting.
On the way to Pt. Reyes, i saw the title sign, "Extremely Slippery Conditions" on this very curvy road. So of course, i continued! (these people know nothing of slippery road conditions--it was not slippery, at least when i went)
i drove through a town called Nicosia, what a cute town. It has 3 stores--a general store, a bar and grill, and a post office, all in one building. The woman in the store and the man in the bar were so nice and friendly that i took their picture. The woman, whose picture you can see, was so friendly, gave me a big smile and said "Have a nice day" when i left. When i asked if i could take her picture, she got shy, but agreed. I told her to say "have a nice day", as she had smiled so well before. i took a few shots, and she kept saying it. She helped me to have a nice day! The guy in the bar gave me a program, apparently they have great live music there on weekends. Since there appear to be about 5 people in the town, i wonder where they come from. In fact, i wonder so much i think i'll go there! The countryside was beautiful surrounding the town, many horse farms and livestock farms.
shortly after i left the town, i went through this Redwood Forest, that was maybe a few miles long, but it was magical! Strange, hippy type houses, with Xmas lights on the fences, up in the hills amid the trees. I rolled down the windows to spell the trees, it was so refreshing!

Got to Pt. Reyes, but didn't see the seals. In fact, i didn't really stay. i was at Tomales Bay, but was the only one there, and the walk to the bay did not look inviting. i think the seals, etc. are way over by the lighthouse, but that was really far from where i was, and a gas station and a restroom were fast becoming De Rigeur!
I then came home the same way. It was a lovely drive, i felt very free. Did good thinking on the way there and back, just enjoyed it.

p.s. i later found out that it is named Lucas Valley Road because George Lucas owns most of the land around here, and lives here too. Apparently near the Redwood Forest.

no ups today

2008-02-18T14:30:00.000-08:00

Dan had to go back to AA today, i drove him there in the morning. On the way to the airport, we saw a bunch of wild turkeys. Looked like a whole community, walking in my neighborhood.
Met Jay for breakfast, which was great, since he and Lindsey had been skiing in Tahoe all weekend with their myriad of friends, and didn't get to spend much time with Dan. Drove to the airport, and on the way, Dan found another staircase. (now i've HIM looking!) i will have to go back to Pacheco street and find it, it's beautiful. It's probably one in my book.
Left him off, boo hoo, and came back to the condo. Worked on the symposium i am helping with. It's nice out, i didn't think it would be so i forced myself out and find a little nearby park near Marinwood, off the Lucas Valley exit. i read some meditations there, and lapped up the sun. Not for long, i am very tired, and want to be home. doing laundry and talking to Ella, the cat. (did i mention her yet?---she is part of the deal here, a skittish charmer who is very smart and cunning, but good company.)
i am really missing Dan, we had a really nice weekend. i really miss him, which is kinda nice, but i also feel o.k. on my own. feel really relaxed; i think i was so ready for this experience, and it's not disappointing me, rather, it's joyous, even if i'm missing Dan. Am also really missing Matt, Rachel, and my Isaac!

magic in sonoma

2008-02-17T20:44:00.000-08:00

Dan wanted to go to wine country today, to go up to Glen Ellen, and then to see where else the road took us. So we went there and we're somewhat disappointed. But, i had met this guy on the ferry ride yesterday, who owned a winery in Santa Rosa, St. Francis winery. He had told me to call and he'd set me and a guest up for the "VIP" tasting, gave me his cell phone number. So i called him, and he set up a wine and dine tasting for us at 1:00! So we got there and really were treated well. We were in a private room, with a few other couples doing the same thing. They had 4 wine glasses, different wines, paired with 4 different courses of food. (see photos) The wine was really good! Really good!
They paired a Wild Oak Chardonney with a mango-shrimp cerviche;
a cabernet franc with blue cheese, onion rings;
a rockpile red with pork loin and braised cabbage;
and a $75 cabernet sauginon with the stuffed mushroom;

we ended up buying some of the wine, and joining the wine club, so Chris Silva, the owner's name, did o.k. by us! it was really fun.

We then spent the rest of the day exploring wine country. we checked out a potential rental place called Oakmont, which looks very possible--it's an "adult" community, with alot of winter rentals available and alot of community activities. Dan bought a ring in Calistoga, and we slowly, very slowly, headed back to Novato.

more ups today!

2008-02-16T17:33:00.000-08:00

i am posting 2 posts today because i didn't yesterday, just so you all understand.
This was a great day! We got up and left early, took the ferry from Larkspur to the Ferry Building. We love these ferries, remembering the one we would take from Vallejo. It was lovely and relaxing. Got to the ferry building, and took off for a stairway walk. Went through Chinatown and saw parts i had never seen before. This park, called Portsmouth Park,where the men play "go" and cards, and the women sit and talk. We continued walking, and heard firecrackers and noise, and saw a random celebration of the Chinese New Year----two guys in a dragon suit going up and down the street to the noise of a Chinese drum, and every so often, lighting firecrackers. All much to the delight of the crowd. We saw a number of these throughout the walk.
Then, actually followed the book i'm using, called "Stairway Walks in San Francisco" by Adah Bakalinsky, by the way. i 've realized i've forgotten to name it.
We ended up finding great staircases, from Kearny up old concrete steps to Vallejo steps. Then down this beautiful stairway walk! It curved around with terraces at different levels, and homes on either side. beautiful foliage at every level too. I liked this staircase! Dan did too.
Then, walked back to Chinatown for lunch. We ended up at a rather popular place, seated with a cynical dentist from Carmel, and had Dim Sum which they served by walking around with the different kinds all the time. It was excellent! had fried shrimp, a shrimp dumpling, and a rice thing wrapped in some kind of leaves, and then an egg custard dumpling.
Rested on the nice ferry ride on the way home to Larkspur.
Then, drove out to Stinson Beach, where Dan thought we could stay as a better alternative. But hey, no, very long drive, very, very crowded. Gorgeous drive on highway one,though, really magnificent.
Drive back through Mt. Tam park to end up in Mill Valley. another beautiful drive. DAn upset because the GPS wasn't working right, but other than his obsessing about that, it was great.
Now back at the house, tired, will just stay in. Currently drinking marini's!

sharing the joy

2008-02-16T17:28:00.000-08:00

It was so great to have Dan around! We were both exhausted, so it was a lazy day. Drove around Novato, found a new good grocery store, Harvest, and stocked up. came home, then drove to Corte Madera. i wanted to return to the Italian grocery store . A.J. Ferrari Foods for lunch and more breadsticks, which i'm unfortunately getting addicted to. cAme back and tried to nap, though we'd had too much coffee.
Met Kathleen for dinner at Kitchen, a one star restaurant in Novato. Dan and i split the "Valentine's Prix Fixe" 5 course meal; it was wonderful: carrot curry and ginger soup with truffle oil, bibb lettuce salad with blue cheese and blue cheese vinegrette, shrimp in white sauce, pancetti wrapped butterfish, and melted chocolate cake. Excellent!

valentine for the mind and valentine for the senses or the non stairway walk

2008-02-14T21:53:00.000-08:00

Valentine's day! Called Matt on my daily walk to get the papers to wish him a Happy Birthday! I hope Isaac did too.
It is thursday, and i am doing a telephone support group for the Leukemia Society, so i spent an hour doing that. i am enjoying it, though it's hard to do that out here. But i did enjoy it; i had to find a place in the house that isn't bombarded with the noise of the workmen fixing the dry rot, however!
Afterwards, i drove into the city with my very trusty GPS, i love it. I went to the Legion of Honor to see the Marie Antoinette exhibit, which is leaving on saturday. It was very good, but not great. I liked the china and the furniture, and the headphone lecture, but i didn';t like all the portraits that much, i don't like that rococco style of art.
i then did my next stairway walk! or tried to. i must say, i am enjoying the adventure of trying to find the walks, and then regrouping after i either can't find it or something is amiss. Today, i tried to do the one at Lands End. I ended up at Seal Beach near Cliff house, and did find a staircase, but it was closed for repairs, as was the walk! i walked around a little, by the Sutro Baths, found a tunnel someone told me about, and did walk up another staircase. But mostly, i sat and listened to the waves. It was magificent, i just sat and listened. i took a weird self portrait, seen above, with my cell phone!
i then drove around to find another walk/stairway, and ended up at another part of Lands End, or maybe it was the real one. It was by Fort Miley. I did find the staircase down to the walk, and it was beautiful. this part of my day was a feast for the senses----the sun was shining brightly, so bright it hurt my eyes, the waves were crashing on the rocks, the path felt solid beneath my feet, and my favorite part was the smell------at one point on the walk i was among Cypress trees. Someone told me they were Monteray Cypress. They smelled so wonderfully, i just stood and took it in. a wonderful, woodsy scent.

i then drove to Jay and Lindsey's , and Lindsey and i had a great time talking til Jay got home. We then went out for sushi, yes, i am attempting to develop a taste for it. Jay brought both Linsdey and i a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day!
i am now back at their house, waiting til i can pick up Dan from the airport. he is coming in tonight, late. This of course, will be the best Valentine of all today!

downs and ups today

2008-02-13T14:41:00.000-08:00

began the morning with jazzercize, which always is good. i felt more down, felt like a newcomer. was going to look for a poem to add, perhaps i will later to describe it.
later, went to the Farmers Market in Corte Madera, which definately lifted my spirits! i bought some clothes, but found a wonderful Italian market there, where i bought some goodies for Dan's visit tomorrow.
Kathleen comes tonight, i am ready to see someone i know and can have more than a cursory talk with.

o.k., i know this gets boring, so i will try and shorten my writings. although it IS my journal.
Kathleen and i went to Boca for dinner, after driving to downtown Novato. we had a great time! it was great to see her, we had great talking, drinking and eating. This restaurant was good, kobe beef was good, a little tough, but they had wedge of lettuce salad with roq. dressing, which is one of my favorite foods. great wine, by the way.

sixty five degrees of separation

2008-02-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

2-12-08
o.k., first i have to finish the rest of yesterday. i did go to jazzercize, and it felt really good. everyone was nice, and not blond, thin and young! a nice group. an easier workout, oddly enough. i got a brochure for "Laughter Yoga" which this center does on wed. at 11, which i want to check out. It's a senior center though, so it may be for seniors, in which case, i may not do it! But it is intriguing.
i left the class and then drove to Corte Madera, which took about 20 minutes. i went to hear John Grey talk about his latest book regarding his Men/Mars---Women/Venus theory. He was very good, just like he is on t.v. He said that men and women react differently to stress. i can't remember all that he said, it was this alleged scientific stuff about oxycotin and testostorone and how the sexes react oppositely to it. Men get sleepy and have trouble focusing when women can multitask. He said women need their oxycotin levels raised to be turned on, and to do this, they need to talk and interact to reduce their stress levels. If they don't get the opportunity to be listened to, or to talk, they stay stressed, which interferes with their sexual desire. Men get stumped by trying to find solutions, so when they look like they're not listening, they're really searching their minds for solutions. it wasn't that astoundingly new to me, and he went off into how to communicate, which was certainly not new, but it was interesting. This book store, The Book Passage, is quite famous, and really wonderful. They have all kinds of speakers there, and have a murder series where my favorites always go---Michael Connelly, John Sanford, etc.
i am sleeping well, feel much calmer than i thought i would. i just feel relaxed. i got up today, fed the kitty, had some coffee, then walked up the hill where there are newspaper thingies. this is my routine.
i have to do some work today for the bmtinfo net group, so i won't be playing til later.
more later!
o.k., it is now later. this is the second time i am writing this, as i got kicked off the computer before. Did i mention my technology crises? My palm pilot broke before i left, so i lost most of my address info, my cell phone has been acting weird before i left, and i don't get reception at the house, the computer has an ethernet connection and i keep getting kicked off, so it is hard to communicate with people i know! a challenge.
Anyway, there are workmen working on the house, and the contractor, Mel, has become my new best friend. He tells me stuff to do around here. today, i took a walk in the Pachero Nature Center right near the house. It is really beautiful, but a strenuous walk. Harder than Sugarloaf Mountain. i stopped along the way, and read from Jon Kabat Zinn's, "Wherever You Go, There You Are". He quoted a poem by Walt Whitman, which was lovely and i read aloud. On the way back down, right where i had stopped, i suddenly saw a beautiful, soaring bird with a huge wingspan, black head, and red beak. It was some kind of hawk or eagle, i thought. i saw several, they were so graceful, and it felt magical since it was the same spot i had read the mindfulness stuff. i later found out, from Mel, that they were turkey hawks! But, he said, that was still good because they had been scarce around here, and now are returning.
i came home, and then drove to San Anselmo, to explore it a little and to get my vanilla shower soap from Body Time, which has a store there.
i later did jazzercize. It's not that i'm so hyper and full of energy, it's that it's good to get out and talk to people. That feels very good.
i am happy!

my first day in novato

2008-02-11T16:01:00.000-08:00

i should write this later, as the day isn't over. but anyway, i explored. Oh, i slept really well! of course, i had meds, but i didn't use much. More importantly, i FELT safe and sound.
I found the senior center in Novato, it smelled of old people, and there were many! i will go back tonight when there are jazzercizers, i hope! i explored downtown Novato and found it cute with some nice shops and some great , alleged, restaurants, Kitchen, and Boca. Had a long talk with a shop owner who also told me about some nice walks around here, if i'm still here when the wildflowers come out, which should be early march.
o.k., now i have to figure out how to send this so people can actually read it.

moraga tile staircase, walk number one

2008-02-10T21:00:00.000-08:00

2-10-08
I did my first stairway walk today, to start my adventure in California. i arrived on friday night, and have been staying with Jay and Lindsey until sunday, when I venture to the condo in Novato. After i got the car this morning, i took off on my own, giving them some time alone, and found the stairway near them. It was in Golden Gate Heights. It began at Moraga and 16th, and wanders around Golden Gate Heights Park, above the Sunset.
It was warm and sunny today. I was trying to analzye my feelings; I felt sort of unsettled, unfocused, adventurous, and overly analytical about how i was feeling!
Anyway, i then pulled up to the staircase and ohmygod! Out of nowhere is this magnificant staircase all in tiles. And the tiles all have peoples names on them and symbols. There are all different colors of tiles, shapes, mirrored tiles, gorgeous! Jay later told me, and i also read, that the neighborhood started a movement to have the stairway paved with tiles that people bought. Jay bought a tile for James, he thinks it's on the 94th step. i didn't know this til later, however.

So that was the ups of this. The downer was that my camera didn't work! What a bummer! i took a few shots with my phone, but that is not at all satisfying. i was so bummed! The above image was taken by my cell phone. (It looks really strangely colorized) P.S. i added the picture of the steps later.
i walked up the mosaic stairs anyway, turned around and saw the ocean. The water was hazy, and just a few waves were coming in from this vast panorama, even though the say was clear. i watched this anf it felt so good on this peaceful, sunny sunday with the birds singing.
i walked a little further, though i am not sure i followed the directions right. But i ended up on another stairway, where someone asked me if i knew where the mosaic stairs were. I so proudly answered her, so proud that i knew! ohmygod, this is fun, i thought. i took a dirt path around the top, and walked in a semi circle over the sunset area. i felt open, curious, free, thoughtful. i didn't feel joyous, but thoughtful. i felt happy, i felt that life is good, everyone is happy, my kids, Dan, me, his kids, jim and laura, a nice moment in time.
i felt a little sad that i was alone, not because i was lonely, but because i wanted to share it with someone because it was so cool.
On the way back down from this staircase, i realized i was across the way from Jay and Lindsey's. Of course, it was quite a way off, but yet, i waved!
On the way down, i noticed huge hens and chicks all over the place. lovely. i decided to go back home then, i had walked a ways, and didnt' want to do more because of no camera. i will bring Dan back here to see the mosaic steps, he'll love them, and i'll have the camera then.
Oh, i saw many other people, and everyone was so friendly, so calm and just taking it all in. How wonderful!